- Fork in the road: Bury a fork under a road or path; use it as a landmark when giving directions. Watch as mortals spend hours getting lost.
- Left at the Wright: Every respectable Fey town employs a wheelwright, cartwright, shipwright, playwright, or some other “-wright.” Directions such as “turn left at the wright” are therefore perfectly useless to outsiders.
- The X room: A ballroom is normally used for dancing; a faerie ballroom may or may not be filled with thousands of balls and be used for dancing. The same can be true for staff rooms, smoking rooms, and music rooms.
- Cringeworthy street names: This and That way, Some Place and other such names are common in fey towns for the sole purpose of confusing mortal travelers.
- Join the clubbed: The Fey will often make a big show of needing to join a club when ordering a club sandwich or club soda or anything with the word club in the name. When the mortal inevitably submits and “joins the club,” they end up hit over the head with a branch or mallet
- Cup of Tee: Ask for a cup of tea, and you may receive a mug full of golf tees. Experienced travelers now carefully pronounce each letter: “I’d like a cup of T-E-A.”
- Ambushes: The Fey cultivate a carnivorous shrub known as the ambush. Travelers who hear warnings about “possible ambushes ahead” often assume they’re being told to watch for bandits.
- Night Vision Goggles: Most goblin flimflammers sell night vision goggles. They do not do anything in the dark but make it appear like night if you look through them during the day.
- Go for a Beir: In Faerie, when you ask where the nearest place to get a beer is, there is a 50/50 chance you will be sent to a funeral parlor to get a bier. Since the fey do not die under normal circumstances, funeral parlors exist in Faerie solely to enable this pun.
- Fire Sales: When business is slow, goblin flimflammers hold fire sales. Discounted torches, lanterns, candles, and other burning merchandise are available until the fire goes out.
- Spell Books: Fey booksellers have a long tradition of shelving grimoires beside spelling primers under the sign Spell Books. Most mortals cannot tell which is which until it’s too late, and Fey booksellers do not accept refunds.
- Stock exchange: Every major Fey city has a stock exchange. It’s the best place to buy soup stock in bulk.



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