My hometown is starting to put on its spring bloom; I suspect many towns across the Northern Hemisphere are doing the same. Let’s talk about the weird and wonderful flowers of The Valley of New Mountainheart.

1. Hagwort: Easily identifiable by its green and black petals, this ugly flower whispers whatever the passerby would find most offensive. Hags are seemingly immune to these comments. They’re a common pest along footpaths and market roads.
2. Pixie Lamps. A flowering vine whose white bell-shaped flowers produce a soft glow. The glow persists for several hours after picking, and pixies are fond of using them as lanterns. The glow fades rapidly once the flower wilts.
3. Monk’s Vow. A drooping brown flower that looks sort of like a bowing monk. The petals are a powerful purgative. Rumor has it that this flower is the primary ingredient in the popular drunkenness cure Pale Rider Ill. 
4. Sunfire: Easily identifiable by its yellow and red petals, commonly seen as a weed in New Mountainheart. Groundskeepers despise it, as unattended patches have been known to ignite entire hillsides on clear days.
5. Wolfsooth: A small violet flower whose scent can pacify even the meanest unawakened creature. Commonly used by beast trainers and druids to get wild animals to sit still long enough to be healed.
6. Starlilly: A popular garden flower in Sliberberg. This white lily gets its name from the sparkling pollen that it releases at night. It is a popular gift for young men to give to their lady loves. 
7. Wolfblossom: A carnivorous member of the carnation family with a distinctly canine look. Eats mostly bugs but may bite unwary fingers. Can, with patience, be trained to recognize its handler or bite intruders.
8. Whispering tulip: Ironically, this tulip does not whisper; it shouts out loud the last thing it heard constantly without stopping. It has been banned from the gardens of Sliberberg for revealing too many secrets about too many powerful people
9. Sugar rose. A flower that is practically extinct in the wild. This subspecies of rosebush blooms in pastel pink, crystalline sugar. They are a popular delicacy among the gentry of Sliberberg, and the few that remain are jealously guarded. 
10. Wiltflower. A relative of the sunflower and a favorite plant among pranksters. Virtually identical to the sunflower, except that it looks like a wilted one, it has been known to drive casual gardeners crazy and spark more than one neighborhood feud over “improper care.”
11. Poserflower. A flower that tries to outdo other nearby flowers to be picked by fey and mortals. Has the ability to transform into whatever flowers are nearby using illusion magic, but always overdoes the imitation. The illusion ends once picked
12. Popping Posy. A subspecies of poppy known for its unusual and explosive seed-spreading mechanism. The sap is a natural, low-power explosive, and seedpods are commonly used as a firecracker by revelers and pranksters

So if you find yourself wandering the Valley this spring, do take a moment to admire the blooms—just mind which ones are admiring you back.