I am back with a new roleplaying tips article. Goblins have been reworked in the new monster manual, making them both chaotic neutral, turning them into fey, and giving them a (marginal) refresh to the lore. This is good; the fey creature category was woefully underrepresented in the previous monster manuals. Also, the lore rework greatly differentiated them from things like orcs and kobolds. In fact, across the board, there has been an effort to eliminate the concept of races that are evil just because. This is good; it gives the dm more options when creating encounters with traditionally considered evil races. However, WOTC cut back the monster lore for many monsters to make room for more stat blocks. This is a shame because the entry for goblins just tells us what they are like in the material plane, which is only marginally different from the older editions. What about goblins who still live in the feywild? What are they like, and how do they relate to their material plane cousins?

An Introduction to Goblins as Compelling NPCs

Contrary to the common perception of goblins as gross and malicious creatures who live to raid and steal, those in the Feywild embody chaos and capricious change. Most goblins are not malicious or evil; they just want to disrupt the status quo, whether in the form of raiding, thievery, undertaking dangerous stunts, lowbrow pranks, or scamming some unexpecting mortal or fey. All goblins are born tricksters, although their ability to be mischievous can vary wildly from goblin to goblin.

The Fey Goblin Psyche

While the typical material plane goblin is content to live a life of raiding, thievery, and the occasional juvenile prank or scam, Feywild goblins are more intelligent, more civilized and, for lack of a better word, more refined. While a typical Material Realm goblin is content with pulling simple pranks, such as pushing someone into a ditch or stealing the clothes of a person taking a swim, fey goblins prefer more elaborate pranks and scams like rigging a bridge over a shallow stream with a trapdoor that only triggers if the person standing on its an elf or selling knockoff healing potions that cause nonstop belching. However, their intelligence causes fey goblins to develop inflated egos. This results in fey goblins universally considering themselves the smartest beings in any room, regardless of their actual intelligence. This smug tendency is exemplified by the fey goblin’s preferred word for nongoblins, “yark,” which translates roughly into rube in common.

Beyond their inflated egos, goblins are fiercely individualistic, driven by their whims, and rarely accepting ‘no’ as an answer. They’ll brazenly interrupt conversations to crack a joke, scratch themselves in inappropriate places, or steal unattended food. This inherent disregard for social norms fuels their hatred of rules and laws, making most goblin settlements lawless. When forced to live among other creatures, they abide by the rules just enough to avoid expulsion and maintain access to a ready supply of, ‘rubes.’ Worse goblins are infamous for their headstrong nature, with one elven sage observing, ‘Ask five goblins which way is up, and you’ll get seven different, incorrect answers.’ Once a goblin latches onto an idea, only a bribe or a painful lesson will change their mind – and even then, they might double down out of spite just to prove a point.

A peculiar side effect of their headstrong nature is a near-compulsive need to hoard. Each goblin fixates on collecting one or two specific types of bizarre items for reasons they can’t articulate. You’ll never find two goblins with the same hoard: one might covet shimmering glass marbles, another, tarnished keys pilfered from unsuspecting rubes, and yet another, only coins stamped with peculiar designs.

This strange obsession, however, pales in comparison to their unconditional love for gold. Unlike other fey, who value emotions and abstract concepts, goblins possess a deep, almost comical, fondness for the shiny metal. Goblin merchants will readily accept gleaming gold coins over a bag full of random trinkets, and they guard their hoards with a dragon’s possessiveness. They’ll only trade their precious gold for gaudy golden baubles to adorn themselves or ostentatious golden art to further enrich their collections. Why this love affair with gold? It’s a mystery lost even to the goblins themselves.

Fey Goblin Appearance

Material plane goblins are content to dress in simple leather and rag clothing and go completely without hygiene. Feywild Goblins, on the other hand, will generally put effort into their appearance to make the right goblinly impression. The goal is just the right level of disgusting to be unmistakable goblinly without being repulsive. Fey goblins generally bathe once every one or two weeks, brush their teeth even less frequently, and slick their hair back with smelly homemade concoctions made from mud and bug guts.

Fey goblin attire blends functionality with a touch of gobliny fashion. Goblins favor baggy, colorful, dirty clothing that is well-made, well-used, and often patched or altered. Average goblins prefer colorful jackets, gypsy attire, green and brown cloaks, and colorful dresses for women, while wealthier goblins wear finely made, baggy, and presoiled suits, dresses, and jackets. Fey goblins also have a strange obsession with hats; they are never seen outdoors without a hat, and generally, the bigger and fancier the hat, the more important the goblin. Mostly, these are stereotypical leather peasants’ caps, flat caps, or robin hood-like cocked hats, but rich goblins generally prefer wearing gaudy gilded affairs.

Goblin Communities

Goblins are naturally social creatures who tend to settle in large groups for safety, company and easy access to targets for pranks. They overwhelmingly prefer the company of their own kind, a sentiment best summed up by the goblin saying, “If you hang around with the rubes, what does that make you?” This has led goblins to form segregated communities in odd corners of tolerant towns, large cave systems, or wilderness areas. These ghettoes are dirty mazes of narrow, muddy alleyways choked with ramshackle buildings cobbled together from mismatched lumber, random metal bits, scavenged tapestries, and even the occasional giant mushroom cap. These buildings generally have plentiful balconies and windows to enable pranks and ill-advised parkour among the communities’ youths and, to a lesser degree, their elders.

These communities will be anchored by one or more leaders who have what the goblins consider natural leadership qualities: forceful, flashy, and bombastic personalities and a knack for creating disruption and chaos through masterful pranks and grifts. However, these leaders have less power than they seem; leading goblins is like herding cats. Both are generally uninterested in their leader’s words and content doing their own thing. As such, the leaders of any given goblin community rule by suggestion more than decree, convincing goblins to follow their lead through charisma, vision, bribes, and the continued success of their schemes. Leadership in goblin communities is fluid, often changing multiple times a year as the community’s fickle attention shifts to the next charismatic up-and-comer.

Goblin Pastimes

Goblins get bored easily, manifesting in loud complaints and searching for opportunities for disruptive fun. They will plan to concoct elaborate pranks, usually quite juvenile but rarely malicious, to play on each other or unsuspecting rubes. Another favorite pastime among goblins is the dare game, where goblins challenge each other to pull off increasingly reckless stunts like riding a bull bareback, pulling off a difficult prank on a person with authority, or jumping increasingly large gaps. These displays of foolish bravery draw large crowds, as goblins enjoy watching somebody else make a fool of themselves almost as much as pulling a prank.

Goblins are also fond of drinking and gambling. However, this can quickly cause problems because goblins have difficulty holding their liquor due to their small size. Goblin taverns are notoriously rowdy places with packed tables of drunk goblins playing cards and dice for small wagers and drinking the rainbow-colored and often disgusting beverages that goblins call alcohol. GOblins will also usually bet on each other over the outcome of pranks or the dare game.

Goblin Professions

Goblins, with their nimble fingers and love of mischief, naturally gravitate towards professions that let them do their own thing and, most importantly, sow good-natured chaos. Material plane goblins often end up as raiders, thieves, scouts, or spies. But in the Feywild, and the more open-minded communities of the Material Plane, goblins find a wider array of… opportunities. Self-employment is king for the goblins, so many become merchants, shopkeepers, or traveling traders, relishing the chance to ‘pull one over’ on unsuspecting customers. While ‘reputable’ goblin merchants might simply inflate the prices of any given piece of merchandise, the less scrupulous ones sell goods of… questionable provenance. Remember, goblins, bound by their fey nature, can’t outright lie. So, while you’ll get exactly what they promise, what that actually is might be a different story altogether…

Goblin-owned businesses are also common in the Feywild, often specializing in goods of questionable quality and safety. Think firework factories producing explosions of unpredictable colors and force, alchemists brewing potions with bizarre side effects, and orchards growing fruit with strange and sometimes alarming properties. Goblin breweries are notorious for their strange-tasting beers and liquors, and goblin workshops churn out low-cost knockoffs and shoddy imitations of reputable craftsmanship. Before partaking in any goblin-made product, it’s wise to check for nearby groups of suppressed laughter. Ironically, goblin-made novelty items, like whoopie cushions and squirting flowers, are of surprisingly high quality. 

Surprisingly, goblins also find success in the arts. Their mischievous nature makes working as jesters or clowns easy and rewarding, channeling their love of pranks and chaos into a (mostly) harmless profession. They also excel in stand-up and slapstick comedy, avant-garde and street art, and comedic stage production. Goblins are naturally drawn to circus life, finding work as acrobats, clowns, animal tamers, and barkers.

Tips for Roleplaying Goblins in general.

Goblins are inherently mischievous and driven by a need for constant stimulation. When portraying a goblin, consider the following:

• When you see a chance to cause chaos, take it. Goblins are prone to cringe-worthy jokes, ill-conceived pranks, and utterly foolish stunts. When roleplaying goblins, look for such opportunities; when you see one, take it. Have a goblin NPC swap out a guard’s helmet for a chamber pot, attempt to ‘improve’ a fine tapestry with mud, or try to convince a noble that the sky is actually green.
• Goblins are attracted to bombastic, chaotic personalities. Goblins are drawn to forceful personalities, flashy displays, and anything that disrupts the norm. They will follow anyone who promises them ample opportunities to cause chaos. When roleplaying goblins, they will gravitate to members of the party who share their inclination to chaos and disdain for rules. They might mimic the party’s rogue, try to ‘help’ the barbarian with their rage, or offer ‘advice’ to the party’s sorcerer on how to make their spells more exciting. However, goblins have no loyalty to leaders and will leave them if a more interesting NPC shows up.
• Goblins bore easily. Goblins demand constant stimulation through pranks, bad jokes, stupid stunts, and generally disruptive behavior. When denied this, they become salty and start to complain loudly. If things start to slow during roleplaying with a goblin NPC, then have them throw a wrench into the works. Have them interject with impatient and rude comments (‘Are we there yet?’), tell a bad joke (‘What do you call a goblin with no eyes? Gnoblin!’), or try to steal something from the PC. If none of the tactics work, have a goblin NPC wander off, grumbling under its breath, kicking small stones, and muttering about the lack of excitement.
• Goblins hate rules. Goblins hate rules because they keep them from doing what they want when they want. When roleplaying goblins, have them abide by the rules or laws of a settlement just enough to prevent them from being run out of town and flaunt every other rule they can. They might wear a ‘No Rules’ t-shirt under their armor, address the town guard as ‘Officer Boringpants,’ or try to pay taxes in copper pieces stacked in a ridiculously tall tower.
• Goblins love gold. Goblins are obsessed with gold, not for its practical value but for its shininess. When role-playing goblins, have them stare at golden objects longingly, their eyes wide with avarice. They might try to barter random junk (a broken twig, a dead rat) for gold pieces or try to polish a gold coin with their dirty sleeve. When they think they can get away with it, they will try to steal gold coins or small gold objects, often with hilariously lousy stealth.

Tips for Roleplaying Fey Goblins

• Fey goblins have inflated egos. When roleplaying a fey goblin, remember they think they are the most intelligent person in the room at any given time. They will stubbornly cling to ideas they come up with, no matter how ridiculous, and no amount of convincing will change their minds. They might interrupt conversations to offer their ‘superior’ insights, even if completely irrelevant. 
• Fey Goblins take pride in being gross. To Fey goblins, being slightly gross is a fashion statement. They take pride in their perfectly dirty clothing, well-maintained body odor, and filthy habits. If a player character makes comments about a goblin NPC appearance, act offended. The goblin might dramatically clutch their chest and exclaim, ‘How dare you insult my exquisitely distressed attire!’ or sniff the air and declare, ‘This is the scent of a true connoisseur. You wouldn’t understand!’

Fey goblins

As a little treat, I cooked up some stat blocks for the sort of goblins you can find in the feywild