Welcome back Wayfarers. I recently realized that I have been forgetting to include something in the appendixes of the works where the Grand Absurdist appears as a character. I neglected to devote space to the most notable thing about her: the artifact she wears on her head. Not only that, but I even mention it in the Liberation of Sliberberg in her appendix entry in passing. I intend to remedy that with this post. The Drollish Cap is the most evil thing I have created so far on this blog, a malicious entity intent on destroying the very concept of society itself. So read along, and you will soon learn that Lydia von Falkencrest does not wear the Drollish Cap; the Drollish cap is wearing her.

The Drollish Cap

Wondrous Item (Artifact), Sentient, Requires Attunement

The Drollish Cap is a sinister, patchwork jester’s hat adorned with mismatched bells and swirling patterns that seem to shift when viewed from the corner of one’s eye. It exudes an air of unsettling whimsy and quiet menace, whispering half-heard laughter into the minds of those who gaze upon it for too long.

Sentience. The Drollish Cap is a sentient chaotic evil hat with Intelligence of 18, Wisdom of 15, and Charisma of 20. It can speak telepathically with the wearer in any language they understand, often in sing-song riddles or distorted whispers.

Personality: The cap delights in manipulating its wearer by breaking down their inhibitions and moral framework. It gaslights them into believing that chaos is freedom and that absurdity is truth. Ultimately, the hat seeks to turn its wearer into the leader of a cult dedicated to the nihilistic destruction of any form of society.

Curse. The cap cannot be removed willingly or unwillingly while the wearer is alive. Spells like Remove Curse fail unless cast by a 9th-level spell slot or by a deity-tier entity. The cap strips away the wearer’s self-control and societal constraints. They feel compelled to indulge in their impulses and desires, no matter how chaotic, embarrassing, or dangerous. At the start of each day, the wearer must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw. On a failure, they cannot resist indulging their whims for 1d6 hours, often leading to irrational behavior, theft, vandalism, or bizarre proclamations.

Aura of Lunacy While wearing the Drollish Cap, the wearer radiates an unsettling aura of chaotic influence in a 30-foot radius. Any creature that starts its turn within the aura must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed for 1 minute. The charmed creature views the wearer as the center of reality and feels compelled to imitate the “absurdist behavior” of the Drolls (laughing uncontrollably, vandalizing objects, dancing manically, etc.). The wearer can issue simple commands to charmed creatures as a bonus action. A charmed creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of its turn or whenever it takes damage, ending the effect on a success

Chaotic Spellcasting. The cap grants the wearer limited spellcasting ability. The wearer uses Charisma as their spellcasting ability (Spell Save DC 15, Spell Attack Modifier +7).

• At Will: Minor Illusion, Vicious Mockery, Prestidigitation
• 3/Day Each: Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, Crown of Madness, Mirror Image
• 1/Day Each: Hypnotic Pattern, Confusion, Hallucinatory Terrain

Allure of the Absurd. Your charisma score increases 2 to a maximum of 20

Absurd Resilience. You gain resistance to psychic damage and advantage on saving throws against being frightened or charmed.

Destroying the cap. The only way to destroy the Drollish Cap is for a being of pure lawfulness, such as Primus or another powerful entity of Mechanus to wear the cap and use the wish spell to destroy it

The tale of Lydia von Falkencrest, aka the Grand Absurdist

Perhaps the Drollish Cap’s most famous wearer/ victim is Lydia von Falkencrest, the grand absurdist of the Drolls. Of all the people who have been worn by the Drollish cap, she is among the ones who have worn it the longest at 4 years. Born into one of the most prestigious elven noble families in New Mountainheart, Lydia von Falkencrest was the middle child of seven siblings. Her life was one of opulence and privilege, with little expected of her beyond attending galas, maintaining the family’s reputation, and perhaps securing a respectable marriage. Lydia, however, was a dim, spoiled girl, used to having her whims indulged and seldom held accountable for her actions.

She was neither as ambitious as her older siblings nor as cherished as the younger ones, and this neglect left her with an insatiable craving for attention. Her self-centered, impulsive nature made her notorious within her family, yet they dismissed her antics as youthful immaturity rather than a reflection of deeper flaws.

When she was 14, Lydia’s life changed forever. One of the city’s most extravagant events, the Masque of Fools, was being hosted by a rival noble family. Determined to outshine her peers, Lydia convinced her family to let her attend, then embarked on a shopping spree in Alteburg to find the perfect costume. After wandering through high-end shops and not finding that one finish touch that would make her outfit the talk of the town, she stumbled into a small, dusty theatrical costume shop tucked away on a shadowy backstreet a few blocks from Elmwood Hall. There while searching through a rack of various types of hats, she found The Drollish Cap. Its swirling patterns and jingling bells seemed to call to her, and when she placed it on her head, she felt a strange, thrilling sense of euphoria. Yet the cap, cunning in its malevolence, knew that the time was not right and let Lydia take itself off. She bought the hat for 20sp and left the store, not knowing the danger she had put herself in.

The next night, the night of the ball, she had her maids dress her in her outfit for the masquerade, lowering the drollish cap onto her head as a finishing touch. This time, the cap latched onto her with sinister intent. Inside her head it whispered, “You look fantastic,” in her own voice, which caused her to giggle in delight and twirl around without a care in the world. The hat might have smiled at this; Lydia would be easy to manipulate.

The moment she arrived at the Ball, she became terror incarnate. She interrupted conversations, mocked the other guests, and turned the masquerade into her own private circus. The Drollish Cap whispered encouragement into her mind, masquerading as her conscience. Its voice mirrored her own, urging her to push boundaries further and further until she erupted in violence, bludgeoning a fellow guest to death with a serving tray after they spilled wine on her dress. Panic ensued. Guests screamed and fled while others chased her into the night. The cap, relishing her descent into chaos, advised her not to return home but to vanish into the city.

Lydia spent the rest of the night wandering the city. She was upset at being run out of the party. The Drollish cap, still masquerading as her conscious told her where to go and how to avoid the watch. It encouraged her to break into shops and steal whatever shiny baubles caught her eye, vandalize property, and beat anyone she came across. With every act of random violence, she felt a little bit better. All the while, the cap whispered to her that society’s rules were a real drag, and she should do what want when she wanted, and as the night went on, she agreed more and more wholeheartedly with the sentiment. By the time the morning came, Lydia was entirely under the hat’s thrall. As the final step in her transformation, the hat suggested that the clothing she was wearing was uncomfortable and part of the system that kept her down, and she agreed. Under the cap instruction, she took a pair of scissors and cut a new hem onto her ball gown so that it ended right at her knees; she put on some striped long stockings onto her legs and a pair of shoes with bells on them that she stole from various stores. After admiring her new even more jester-like appearance in a store window she wandered off into the streets to start her reign and the Grand Absurdist. At the cap’s urging, she recruited others—outcasts, drunks, and petty criminals—whom she led in a campaign of chaos under the banner of the Drolls.

Under Lydia’s leadership, the Drolls became a dangerous cult of nihilistic pranksters, attacking merchants, nobles, and city officials alike. Their antics ranged from vandalizing public spaces to inciting riots, all cloaked in a veneer of absurdity. For four years, Lydia ruled the Drolls, but the cap’s influence continued to warp her mind to make her a better host. What remained of her maturity and intellect gradually eroded. By the end of her reign, she was childlike, wholly dependent on the cap to guide her actions and decisions.

When Duke Murtagh’s regime crumbled, and King Fredrick was reunited with Queen Aoibheann, the Drollish Cap grew uneasy. It recognized that it only had its way in the city because the two rulers were too focused on their personal problems. The cap plotted to flee New Mountainheart, but Lydia, now more a puppet than a person, sabotaged its plans with her erratic behavior. In the dock ward she, despite the cap’s urging, beat a longshoreman to death, drawing the attention of the watch. After a brief but destructive chase through the dock ward, she was cornered at the edge of Long Wharf. In a desperate bid to save itself, the Drollish Cap abandoned Lydia, allowing a gust of wind to sweep it off her head and into the harbor. Lydia was captured, disoriented and sobbing, by the watch. Without the cap, she was nothing more than a frightened, confused girl with no understanding of the crimes she had committed.

Lydia faced an overwhelming list of crimes, from murder to inciting riots. The city cried for her execution. However, Queen Aoibheann, newly reunited with Fredrick, interceded.Being the soul and life of the kingdom, she had witnessed the cap’s machinations firsthand. She argued that Lydia was as much a victim as the perpetrator of the Drolls’ chaos. Fredrick reluctantly granted a pardon, but on the condition that Lydia would remain under Aoibheann’s custody.

Stripped of the cap, Lydia was left in a state of arrested development. Without its guidance, she was little more than a mischievous, impulsive five year old in an teenager’s body. Aoibheann took her to the palace, appointing her as the court jester. This role allowed Lydia to channel her chaotic energy into harmless amusements while she slowly began the long process of healing. It has not been easy, Aoibheann has been forced on several occasions to punish Lydia like a child when she crossed a line or caused too much mischief, but Lydia sense of propriety and self control have been slowly returning